Five Sentence Fiction ~ Faeries
June 23, 2012 21 Comments
Jasmine was 10 years old when she first got ‘lost’ in the mists of the woods at the edge of the garden.
She hadn’t felt lost at the time, but when she’d returned after many happy adventures, her mother had been frantic with worry: “Where have you been? You were gone for days!” she’d cried, bundling her daughter into her arms.
After that, she limited the time with her new friends who loved the colour of her eyes, a sparkling green that glimmered like the emerald of the leaves after rainfall.
But one day, after many years had passed, she’d gone down to find that her friends had simply vanished.
She wondered if she would ever see them again and never forgot them or told anyone about them except to her children; she smiled when they disappeared into the woods and knew they’d be safe: they’d inherited the same colour in their eyes.
© 2012 Louise Hastings
About Louise
As always, dear Louise, a lovely 5sf. Poetic and yet prose….’sighs!’ I haven’t been able to capture this one so I’m also jealous now! Hugs!
Such a beautiful depiction of how we lose our childhood innocence. One day we can just no longer fly and we are earthbound. A very poignant and sweet tale. I thoroughly enjoyed this.
Thank you, Jayne…so pleased you enjoyed it
lol…thank you, Jo-Anne …..I loved yours! It made me chuckle! *huggles*
Oh! Did she get to old to see them then? This was absolutely enjoyable. Nice work!
I love the poetic and metaphorical feel of this one. It’s too bad we have to grow up.
It is…thank you, Victoria
Heartbreaking and exhilarating and hopeful, all in one! I love this. A nice of echo of Peter Pan ~ a Wendy, all grown up, letting her children take their turn at “spring cleaning time.”
lol…thank you, Angela! Yeah…I do love those stories of childhood
Lovely poetic prose. Nice message. Goodbye childhood…Hello adulthood. Some are not ready to leave so soon, but must.
Sadly, yes….thank you, Lora
Lovely. You capture the wonder of youth and manage to extend it out to the wonder of parenthood all within five sentences.
Thank you, JT
Lovely piece, Louise. You capture the essence of a day dream beautifully. On a technical note though, your piece actually exceeds five sentences. Your second (I almost said stanza, but it is not a sentence, paragraph then) is actually at least 3 sentences long.
xx
Lovely imagery! I loved the line ‘the emerald of the leaves after the rainfall.’ — it has a poetic feel to it and it is beautiful.
Thanks so much, Stephanie! Pleased you enjoyed it
The wistful mood at the end, that Jasmine simply got too old to see them anymore, was really nice, and accentuated well with the image of her own children — still young enough — running off into the woods. Great job!
Thank you, Brian! Pleased you enjoyed it
Such a lovely, peter pan-ish piece. Excellent!!!!!
Thanks Lillie!!!