#FiveSentenceFiction ~ Distance
August 11, 2012 5 Comments
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Every day during the summer holidays, ten-year old Luke would sit on the beach staring longingly out at the island.
It seemed to shimmer in the hazy distance, a rocky outcrop inhabited only by a colony of sea birds who would dip and dive through the spray into the crystal clear waters.
He didn’t know how to swim so could only watch them, remaining tethered to the shore and wishing he could feel the coolness of the sea water against his sun burnt skin.
It was their freedom that he envied most of all, and when his parents asked “Are you looking forward to the new term, Luke?” he could only nod glumly at the thought of school.
A knot formed in his stomach, but he vowed then that he would learn how to swim, return to the beach and visit his island one day.
© 2012 Louise Hastings
Written for the 5 sentence fiction prompt ~ Distance @ Lillie McFerrin’s site
About Louise
Powerful writing, poetic too. I love it, especially the fact the kid still hopes to learn how to swim. Thank you very much, it cheers mee up.
This story speaks to someone seeking to come out from isolation. But on his/her own terms. A never give up attitude. Very nice indeed, my dear girl.
xox
You story moved me, Louise, because it reminded me of the ‘unfairness’ of childhood – that longing to have some power over the course of your own life. Reminded me of the many childhood nights I stared out my bedroom window, wishing I was in one of the cars driving past our apartment.
This was a nice way to approach the prompt, ending with hope. Your descriptions, especially of the island with the sea birds diving into the surf, were really good. Thanks for the good read!
Brian
Beautiful work with strong imagery and just the right amount of emotional punch. Very nice.