Awakening
I meet him at the door and slowly walk in, my thoughts as complex and loud as music. The notes jangle to the speed of my spinning world as he ventures into me, bravely tearing at flesh that is made painful by love. Indigestible anger rips out of my sides, spreading green bile across the floor. My senses are quickening as the fingers of his mind start to undress me. His arms are at the embrace of my longing as he gives himself to me and leans into my future. He shows me how the darkness had rolled on top of the light; points out the stars that were burned by the sun.
I am afraid to touch him in case my hands move right through him. I am ashamed to meet his gaze, afraid to reveal the dreams that squirm through my brain like dark anti-matter hiding under lifted rocks. I am in turmoil, but this is the way to the past. In time it will dissolve, grow small and still as the surface of a pond. By remembering I am learning to forget.
There is something in him that intrigues me, something I don’t yet understand. How he gives of himself so freely, yet expects nothing in return; how he holds onto joy during moments in time when the spark seems like it is dying; carrying me along on the cloud burst, away from the grey and mechanic, into the poetic and extraordinary. A place where the ice is melting, where the fire has raged through the forests, where the rivers flow on like electricity.
My spirit is gradually unfolding into being, knitted into the fabric of my hopes and and desires, glistening like dew drops in the morning air. I feel as though I could fly, rise above mountains, soar over jagged rocks. Finally I am shaking off the fear of living and turning it into love. My every day misery is no longer acceptable. I want to feel the icy blast of ocean waters on my skin, feel the unseen fingers brushing through my hair, feel your gaze warming my blood.
I am left exhausted by the flashing images that crowd around like ancient trees inside my head. He is breathing his wholeness into me and I am drinking deeply of his gentle soul. One day soon, I know I will stand at his door dripping with new memories, wearing a flimsy dress that’s soaked through by the rain.
I’m discovered another gem of yours Louise. Can’t recall seeing this here until now but then time in this Verse’s confusing… swirling intertwined time lines. Nevertheless, I enjoyed this too! Keep writing Louise! Thanks!
Thanks SO much P…I really appreciate you reading. This is actually a rewrite of something I posted a while ago on the other blog…but wanted to post it here as I really like it!!
Glad you did too…
I’ve read Awakening twice now. I feel I could read it at least eight more times and find it new and excitingly refreshing each time. It is very poetic, open and unguarded. It helps me to know you and like that very much.
And that’s really great! Thank you so much, I’m still very proud of this piece
Lovely. x
Thank you
x
Isn’t this what love is. That trusting in someone enough to open our heart and soul to them fully. To let them see every part of us and hold nothing back in case we get hurt by them. This sounds as if the writer has been hurt in the past and is learning to trust love again because she has met someone who is open and honest.
A beautiful write.
Ah, thank you for coming over to read this & for your thoughtful comment. You’ve read it correctly…love hurts when you have been hurt. But there is a way through the pain to learn to trust again.
I know I will stand at his door dripping with new memories, wearing a flimsy dress that’s soaked through by the rain. —- lovely Louise – wonderfully evocative – (not sure where my last comment went but back for a second read
) xx hugs lib
Aw, so kind of you, Lib…thank you! Really pleased you enjoyed this *hugs*
I feel ill equipped to give an insightful comment after reading that! I so wish I could express thoughts and feelings as vividly, as eloquently and as evocatively as you do. Really lovely Louise. Thank you for sharing!
HM
Oh, but you do, your poetry is beautiful! Thank you for reading, Helena and lovely to see you!
As ever, breathtakingly beautiful, evocative, intangible… Reminds me to feel alive every time I read your words…
I know it is not the context you were writing within but, I am choreographing a dance piece with some undergraduate students at UCSD for a performance in March, and our theme is the ‘muse’ in all its indefinable forms. A couple of your paragraphs speak to me of the sense of beauty/inspiration/light/hope/unknown energy that reminds me of the muse, especially ‘There is something in him…’ paragraph…
It is making me ponder… I do not know yet if we will use text in our performance (live or recorded), but if we do, I would potentially love to include some of your words… Would this be possible…? If it is possible, maybe we can discuss in some way via each of our contact pages…
Thanks for the beautiful inspiration at the start of a new year, and your warm wishes on my blog,
Amanda
Gosh…of course, Amanda…I’d be honoured if you wanted to use my words! Please do, if you wish, thank you.
I’m so pleased this piece resonated with you…I still often battle but my outlook has changed. Life is too short, isn’t it? Thank you ever so for your lovely comment. Best wishes and I hope to visit more often…I find a lot of insight and serenity on your site 
Fantastic, thank you! The dancers love your words also. If we include them as spoken/recorded text in the performance,I will send you the clips we use, so you can check to see if you are happy with them, and I will of course put a credit to you in the program and include a link to your site. I do not know if the university usually records performances, but if it does, I will also see if I can send you a copy of it on DVD. Amanda x
That’s wonderful, Amanda! Fantastic! I really look forward to hearing it, thank you ever so much!